February 14th - the day that turns even the sanest, most secure girl crazy and every guy I know praying it passes unnoticed. Whether single or attached, I cannot stand the day. This is mostly due to the fact that it has lost its true meaning and is a commercial event. Why do we need one day to show the person we love how we feel? Surely there are 365 days of the year to do that?
We all know St Valentine became the patron saint of lovers when, just before his execution, he wrote a letter to his jailer's daughter declaring his love for her. He signed it off "your Valentine". Well, it turns out that's not true and was invented by the American Greetings Inc. The execution part is fact but the letter bit is lies. All lies. We were duped from the start! So it was seen as a day for secret admirers to find the courage to tell the person they were lusting after how they felt - a very sweet idea but only if the lusted after feels the same. Otherwise Luster the Brave becomes Luster the Rejected - painful and humiliating!
I don't see why so much pressure is put on men to be romantic on this one day. Talk about setting yourself up for an anti-climax before he's even had the chance to write the card! Are us females supposedly more romantic all year round? I have male friends that are more sappy than me whatever day it is. I'm so glad that it falls on a Sunday this year, meaning I won't be at work and have to pretend to gush over the bouquets of over-priced, half wilted red roses that arrive in the building. Red roses - I can't think of anything less romantic on Valentine's Day. If you're going to buy her flowers, boys, at least make it a bunch of her favourites (mine, for reference, are bird of paradise and freesias. Not in the same posy). And chocolates - how cliched?! Boys and girls, do something that means something to the person you love, not what's expected!
One year I walked past a Clinton cards in my lunch hour and was in hysterics as I saw just how many men were wandering the aisles with pained expressions thinking 'we said we wouldn't get each other anything but then she sent me the "boy, have I got a surprise for you tonight!" text so i have to get her a card at least. Do I go for funny or slushy?'. A note to all you boys: Do not, under any circumstances, go for funny. You won't get good loving that night if you do.
My time as a shop assistant saw me get many a desperate man out of trouble. 5.50pm, 14th February - "I need to get my wife/girlfriend/mistress something". Without even knowing the recipient, I'd pick out and gift wrap the perfect present, the customer not having had to have put an ounce of thought in to the process. How unromantic is that? I'd rather receive something my partner had picked out himself and shoddily wrapped as at least it would be personal - I'd really appreciate the effort.
One of my most successful Valentine's Days was a few years ago. It was a Tuesday and I was in a long-term, long-distance relationship. The guy I was involved with drove the few hundred miles to see me, knocked on my door and presented me with (garage forecourt) pink carnations. I hate carnations. Then, as I didn't know he was visiting and he didn't know the city I lived in, we searched for a couple of hours for a restaurant but everywhere was fully booked. Except one place. An Indian restaurant. At 10pm. Now, being Indian and knowing just how good Mum's cooking is, I rarely do Indian meals out and takeaways unless the place has been tried and tested by a fellow Indian and has a definite thumbs up. So there we were, surrounded by a group of drunken lads who were talking very loudly about how great it was to be single. During our time there I also received several disapproving looks from the staff... "What's she doing here with him? Not such a good little Hindu girl, is she?". After eating our less than satisfactory meal, I paid the bill (the boyf's excuse was that he'd spent loads on petrol) and the waiter gave him a red rose to present to me. I've already made my feelings on receiving red roses on Valentine's Day clear. Then we headed back to my single bed to sleep. He wasn't getting anything more. The next day I dumped him. I know a lot of people will think me an ungrateful so-and-so but that previous evening had made me realise how little he really knew me, despite all the time we'd been together. Had that day not have existed we probably would have been together for years afterwards.
Last year I received three cards and two bunches of flowers. Card number one was from my Mum - not a pity card as some of you may think but ever since I was young we've exchanged cards and presents on 14th February as a token of love and appreciation for one another. Card number two arrived at work and, at first, aroused curious excitement. It soon went in the bin when I received a text from my then stalker asking if the card had arrived in time. Still, to this day, I don't know who card number three was from but I reckon it may have been The Brand Man as our eyes had met across a crowded room and we'd exchanged smiles but a few days before. Both lots of flowers were from friends. The first was a beautiful bunch of antique roses as a thank you for a massive favour I'd done for this friend the day before. The second bunch was from my newly attached housemate who had bought me and my other housemate stems of red roses each as we were both single - a very sweet sentiment.
Perhaps if we did what the South Koreans do there wouldn't be so much pressure on one day. There, the 14th of every month is a "love day" of sorts. On 14th February women give chocolate to men (gulp! On Valentine's Day men are made more of a fuss of than women? How bizarre?!) and on 14th March, known as White Day, men give women non-chocolate sweets. See, no disappointment as everybody would know what to expect. 14th March is a different kind of day over here where men exact their revenge on their female companions - search Urban Dictionary for it. The day people may have a problem with though, is April 14th, known as Black Day. This is the day when those that didn't receive chocolate or non-chocolate love in the previous months go to noodle bars and eat black noodles. Over here we could eat black fish and chips or something similar?
Perhaps, one day, something will happen that totally changes my attitude towards Valentine's Day. Maybe it will be a romantic day that I look forward to year after year. However, if that does happen, I hope the other days of the year hold an equal amount of romance and love for me. I wish you all love and happiness all year round, not just Sunday. As the song goes, "Each day is Valentine's Day". x
No comments:
Post a Comment