I realise that use of the English language is heavily compromised in text messages by most. At the age of twenty-eight I still don't understand half of the abbreviations used, not that that's a bad thing. My Mum cuts out vowels in words to save time and effort whilst my twelve year old cousin omits them to be cool. These abbreviations, over time, have worked their way into emails which I really can't comprehend. With a whole keyboard and as many characters as one wishes at their disposal, I don't understand why people cut letters.
There is one letter I notice the absence of more than any other, whether it be in a text or email. The "x" at the end of a message holds so much power. Especially when it's a message from someone of the opposite sex. I'm aware I shouldn't place as much importance on it as I do but I can't help it. I sign everything off with a kiss to show affection towards the person I'm communicating with. I have to make a conscious effort not to add an "x" on the end of correspondence in my professional capacity, though I know a few customers have received the affection in emails, more due to force of habit and my rubbish memory than my love for them and what they're asking of me. And I leave the "x" out of a message if it's an angry exchange (which happens less often than some of you may think). Sometimes when I'm in a hurry I just plain forget (and then I get the guilt so I'm likely to send a second message immediately with just that letter or put two kisses in the next one I send).
I have some male friends who always, without fail, sign off their messages to me with an "x" or two. I love this. It makes me feel special in an "awww, I love you, mate" kind of a way. I also have male friends who never ever ever put kisses in messages. This is also fine as it's something they don't do whether it's a deliberate decision or not. I guess it's easier for them to make it common practise to not kiss off in case they accidentally put one in a message to another male, thus feeling like they've compromised their masculinity and opened themselves up to a world of ridicule. It's the occasional kissers that baffle me. Is it intentional to leave it off or put it in? Are there times when they feel like their messages should be less affectionate than others?
I know they, whoever "they" are, say that females over-think things and analyse matters to beyond a place that's healthy but I can't help brood on this. And I can't help but take it personally when a message from an occasional kisser isn't signed off. It makes me wonder if I've done something to offend them when I don't get an "x".
The problem with all text, whether it's an SMS or email, is that one can't convey tone so we have to hope that the recipient realises how we wish our message to sound. I mean, there's no mistaking "it was great to see you!" but a "yeah, sure" could be an enthusiastic, head-nodding acceptance to an invite or a nonchalant, shoulder shrugging acceptance. Especially if that special little letter is missing at the end.
I don't wish to be misunderstood either; just because I'm a girl and you're a boy it doesn't mean that because I'm a definite kisser I'm declaring my undying love for you in every message. I'm not. Don't run a mile. I am a kisser, I can't help it. And I don't want to become a conscious kisser or a sporadic kisser, it wouldn't suit my personality. Just let it make you feel warm and fuzzy in a sexual or non-sexual way, whichever you prefer is fine by me. But as you boys expect us girls to not read into what you say and want us to take it at face value, please just take an "x" from me as what it is. Just a kiss. Unless I actually write "I love you", I don't so please don't freak out. Keep calm and carry on.
It's the same with physical contact too. I'm a rather tactile person. I will, without giving it any thought at all, touch your arm if I'm talking to you or remove a bit of fluff from your jumper/hair if it shouldn't be there. I do have friends, male and female, who are not ok with physical contact (from all, not just me) so I have to make a conscious effort not to touch them however unnatural it may feel. When I greet or leave anybody, chances are they'll get a kiss on the cheek and a hug from me. It's my way of saying "it's so lovely to see you!". So boys, unless I shove my tongue down your throat or respond (positively) to you placing your analogous organ in my mouth, I don't want to jump into bed with you if I just peck you on the cheek. Don't be alarmed, I don't want to take our friendship to the next level.
I went to a friend's house party some time ago and most the people I knew bailed out early so I chose to stay and talk to randoms. I got talking to a guy who was deciding what cd to put on next (as I said, it was a few years ago so the masses hadn't discovered iTunes and Spotify). The conversation flowed easily, going from music to gigs to films and so on. There I was, feeling pretty proud of myself for staying at a party where I only knew the host and her two housemates and not hanging off them like a parasite. This guy said something funny (not with hindsight, only hilarious because I'd consumed muchos vodka) so as I laughed I touched his arm. Uh oh, big mistake. Now, I know blokes are rubbish at reading the most obvious signals but this guy totally misread this one. "I've got a girlfriend and we've been together four years next weekend". What?! I touched your arm, you idiot, I didn't drop my knickers, say "take me now or lose me forever" and put on my best sultry eyes! I walked away in disbelief, not putting him straight so to this day he probably still thinks I hot-footed my way out of that room because he rejected me. Poor bloke.
So, all you part time kissers should make a girl feel special. Whether she's just a friend or more, whack an "x" at the end of your message (unless it's to your psycho ex-girlfriend), what harm will it do? And don't be alarmed by the presence of a kiss at the end of a message from me, be more concerned by the absence of one. x
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